When I'm Gone
by Yuri Namikaze1
Summary: Itachi hasn't always been able to be there for Sasuke when he needs him. He's made many mistakes when it comes to Sasuke. But Itachi has always loved Sasuke, even when Sasuke hated him. And when all is said and done, and Itachi is gone, he wants Sasuke to smile and know that he loved him through it all. Inspiration from Eminem's song "When I'm Gone" (Not slash)
1. Best Brother Ever

**When I'm Gone**

 _Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for?_

 _Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for?_

 _When they know they're your heart_

 _And you know you were their armour_

 _And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm her_

 _But what happens when karma, turns right around and bites you?_

 _And everything you stand for, turns on you to spite you?_

 _What happens when you become the main source of her pain?_

 _"Daddy look what I made", Dad's gotta go catch a plane_

It's 9:45 pm. A five-year-old Sasuke is waiting, in the living room, for his older brother, Itachi, to return from his early-morning mission that day. His brother had told him he'd be back by nine. Of course, that didn't happen. Sasuke hadn't expected it to though. When Itachi gave a time frame, rarely ever was he right. Missions always tend to take longer for some reason or the other. Sasuke hates that, but he knows it's something he just has to accept. It's not like Itachi does it on purpose; no one can really know the exact time a mission will end. So, Sasuke decides to wait up for him, hoping it won't take all night.

"Don't you think you should be heading home now, Itachi?" Shisui asks. They're both sitting at the table enjoying an extremely late dinner together at Shisui's house. Itachi looks up from his small plate of pasta to look up at the other boy, confused as to the why he'd want him to leave all of a sudden. "You told your little brother you'd be home at nine, remember? It's ten now." Shisui explains.

Itachi nods in understanding, but he's frowning now. He's thinking about whether he wants to leave now or stay for a little while longer. Shisui already knows what his decision will be, but he waits for him to say it anyway. If Itachi wanted to be home by nine, he would've been. But he hadn't wanted to, so the mission that had both he _and_ Itachi on it, took as long as it would take two ordinary ninja to do. And at the end, they even ended up checking for loose ends, per Itachi's request.

Shisui doesn't complain though. He knows his friend is going through a lot. He has a lot riding on his shoulders, too much weight for a ten-year-old to bear. He gets all that. They're in the same boat, but he just doesn't understand why he insists on telling his brother things he knows he won't follow through with. Does he want him to hate him? But it isn't Shisui's place to tell Itachi what to do, different people have different ways of dealing with things.

Shisui is an optimist, and Itachi just isn't. He's never believed in the inherent good of people as Shisui has. Shisui thinks everyone has a little good in them, even the really bad people. Itachi doesn't think anyone really is good, to him the word is too subjective, what is good to one may not be good to another. Shisui says being good doesn't mean you get it right all the time. It's hard to know the best solution without knowing the outcome, but you do your best to do the right thing for everyone's benefit, and that makes you good. Itachi says being right is subjective as well; everyone thinks they're right. Even if they're doing something wrong, they think they're right in doing so, because it's their duty and a necessity. Shisui usually says that's not the same thing and is only selfishness, but Itachi begs the differ, saying being right is all about selfishness. It's putting your ideals above someone else's. Shisui is quiet, because he doesn't know how to explain to his friend, that's just not the case. Because being good or being right, it all means the same thing, yet it doesn't all at the same time.

And one day, Shisui asks him, what Itachi is if he thinks both right and wrong are only subjective. Itachi tells him he is the worst kind of person, because he doesn't care about being right, like everyone else. He wants what he wants, right or wrong, he doesn't care. He uses Sasuke as an example. He tells Shisui that he'd save his little brother from a burning building; that's right to Shisui's beliefs. He'd choose his little brother's life over the lives of everyone in the Leaf; that's wrong to Shisui's beliefs. And Itachi says, he doesn't care whether what he's doing is correct. He'd let the world burn to save his innocent little brother, and that's that. Shisui doesn't fight him on it.

"I want to spend the night, if that's okay with you?" Itachi asks. Shisui nods his okay, having figured as much. Together, they finish off their meals, and then retire to get a well-deserved night's rest.

The next morning, Itachi leaves early, telling Shisui he will be back soon in some new clothes, so they can head out on their next mission. Shisui, nods his okay, but Itachi is pretty sure the boy is still half-asleep and didn't even hear him. Nonetheless, he shrugs and leaves to go do as he said.

Itachi opens the door to his home, though it doesn't really feel like one anymore. It's cold. His father is bitter, and his mother is too quiet, never wanting to offend his father's ideals, despite how wrong they are. It's pathetic. But Itachi doesn't say anything either, even though he can see how clearly it is affecting Sasuke. So, maybe he's pathetic too. He isn't sure. Nonetheless, all of this is why he hates coming home, he can't abandon Sasuke though, at least not fully, a part of him already feels like he kind of has. Sasuke doesn't act like he has, but there's always some sadness in his adorable obsidian colored eyes, and Itachi is sure he's the cause of it.

Itachi's eyes land on his little brother. The boy is sleeping in front of the door. There's a blanket over him, but half of it has already fallen off. There's a sheet of paper underneath his face, and crayons strewn all around him. Itachi smiles down at his little brother guiltily. "I'm sorry for keeping you waiting Sasuke." Itachi whispers. He repositions his brother's blanket, so it covers him better. Then quietly steps over him to go take a shower and get dressed.

Soon, Itachi's ready to go. No one is awake yet, so he's thankful for that. He turns the doorknob to open the door and leave out, but a soft voice stops him. "Itachi?"

Itachi turns around, offering his brother a smile. "Yes, Sasuke?" He asks the half-risen boy. Sasuke's eyes widen at the actual response. He had still been mostly asleep and thought he was dreaming.

Sasuke gets up from his spot on the floor, running over to hug his brother. "You're back!" Sasuke says cheerfully.

"Sasuke-" Itachi begins, about to tell his brother he has to go, but Sasuke doesn't hear him. He's too excited. He bends down, picking up a sheet of paper off the floor. It's the same one he had been laying on before.

"Look what I made!" Sasuke says. He's about to turn the paper around to show his older brother, but at the same time, Itachi had said, "I've got to get going Sasuke. I don't want to be late for my mission."

Sasuke's face falls, along with his excitement. "Oh." He says softly.

"Forgive me, Sasuke. Maybe some other time..." Itachi tells him, poking him in the forehead. But Sasuke doesn't rub or hold his forehead like he usually does, he turns away from him, running to his room. Itachi can hear sniffles as he goes. The older brother sighs sadly, as he picks up the sheet of paper. He turns it over, looking down at the picture. It's him and Sasuke holding hands. In Itachi's other hand is a trophy, which reads "Best Brother Ever".

 **PLEASE READ**

 **There will be only a few chapters all in all, but they are complete and separate one-shots. Since they're all one-shots just like this one, revolving around a lyric of the song. I had a vision for each lyric, so I'm going to fill that vision in here. Also, I thought about changing the lyrics a bit to make it match more, but I think it's better this way.**

 **Lyrics belong to Eminem and are part of his song "When I'm Gone". I don't own him or his record company (or w.e. else went into making this song), and I don't own Naruto. Please review! Follow, because some day in the future I may add to this. It isn't truly complete, tbh, but I lack the motivation to do anything else with it, at the moment. Reviewing would help though!**


	2. Walk Me to School Nii-san

**When I'm Gone (part 2)**

 _"Daddy where's Mommy? I can't find Mommy where is she?"_

 _I don't know go play Hailie, baby, your Daddy's busy_

 _Daddy's writing a song, this song ain't goin' write itself_

 _I'll give you one underdog then you gotta swing by yourself_

 _Then turn right around in that song and tell her you love her_

 _And put hands on her mother, who's a spitting image of her_

 _That's Slim Shady, yeah baby, Slim Shady's crazy_

 _Shady made me, but tonight Shady's rocka-by-baby..._

"Itachi, where's mother and father? I wanted to tell them goodbye before I left, but I can't find them anywhere." Sasuke asks. He's eight years old. He's got his school bag on and is standing in front of the doorway. He knows, if he doesn't leave soon, he'll be late for school. But he hasn't said goodbye to his mother yet, and she always sees him off before he goes to school. Sometimes, she even walks him down the driveway, and to the Uchiha compound door, just talking to him about things and letting him know she cares.

"I'm not sure, Sasuke. Why don't you just head off to school? I'm sure they'll be here when you get back." Itachi assures him. Sasuke looks put off by the suggestion, like he doesn't really want to go without saying goodbye to his mother. Once, she had told him, it made her sad when he didn't tell her goodbye before he left for school. Whenever he didn't, she said she'd wonder all day if he had been late to school, if he had remembered to pack his lunch (sometimes he'd forget), and if he was doing alright when he left.

Sasuke says nothing for a while, thinking over Itachi's suggestion. There's a small frown on his face as he chews on his bottom lip in thought. After a few minutes, he finally relents. "Alright..." Sasuke says, pouting slightly. He hoped his mother hadn't just forgotten about him. His father did enough of that, and it always made him feel like he wasn't good enough. He didn't want his mother making him feel that way too.

"Would you like me to walk with you? I'll even walk all the way to the Academy, if you like." Itachi asks.

Sasuke's frown turns into a large grin. "Seriously?! You're not too busy, Nii-san?!" Itachi's heart aches at the question. He was always busy, wasn't he? Always too busy for Sasuke, the one person he cared about most. What made it worse was, he couldn't even say to Sasuke that things would change. He couldn't tell him he'd start making time for him; it would only be a lie. Because things were about to get significantly worse for them tonight, and they were going to get even farther apart. Sasuke may not see him again for years after tonight, and even if he did, he'd hate him.

"No, I'm not. Come on, you don't want to be late, do you?" Itachi asks, getting up from his spot on the sofa. He puts his book down on the coffee table, and walks over to join Sasuke at the door. They head off to the academy together, talking about everything under the sun.

"And that's how I was able to beat everyone at throwing Kunai!" Sasuke says finishing his story, as they approached the Academy building. The bell had just rung, so there was no point in trying to make it on time anymore.

Itachi smiles down at Sasuke. "That's very impressive Sasuke. I'm proud of you."

Sasuke beams up at his older brother, basking in his praise. "It was nothing!" He says smugly.

Itachi chuckles. "Careful little brother, power can cause you to become isolated and arrogant." Itachi warns him gently. Sasuke blushes at this. "Well, off you go, little brother. You don't want to be even more late." Itachi tells him.

Sasuke nods, his blush fading away. He runs off towards the school. Then stops, having forgotten something. He turns around again, running over to Itachi. He throws his arms around his brother, giving him a hug. "Thank you, Itachi nii-san. I love you." Sasuke tells him.

"I love you too, Sasuke, more than anything." He whispers the last part so softly, he doesn't think Sasuke can hear it, but he does. Sasuke doesn't tell him that though, just holds onto him longer, because for some reason, he feels that his brother needs the extra comfort. Something's wrong; he knows that. But he can't figure it out now, he has to go before he's late. So, Sasuke does. He goes to class, and Itachi goes back home on his own. And come nightfall, Itachi murders their entire clan. "I'm sorry, Sasuke." He says as he watches their parents' lifeless bodies fall to the floor.

 **Review and Follow!**


	3. Sides? I Just Want You to Stay

**When I'm Gone (part 3)**

 _I keep havin' this dream,_

 _I'm pushin' Hailie on a swing, she keeps screamin', she don't want me to sing_

 _"You're makin' mommy cry, why, why is mommy cryin'"_

 _"Baby, daddy ain't leavin' no more, Daddy you're lyin'_

 _You always say that, you always say this is the last time_

 _But you ain't leavin' no more daddy, you're mine"_

 _She's pilin' boxes in front of the door tryin' to block it_

 _"Daddy please, daddy, don't leave, daddy, no, stop it"_

 _Goes in her pocket, pulls out a tiny necklace locket_

 _It's got a picture, "This will keep you safe daddy, take it with ya"_

Today isn't nice or sunny, but it isn't raining or yucky out either. The sky is grey, as are the clouds within it. This whole day has a very dreary feel to it, and they both can't wait for it to be over. Something bad always happens on days like this, because no one's happy on days like this.

Most people would rather spend the day inside, in fear of rain coming, but the two Uchiha brothers don't. The younger one, who will be eight years old soon, is sitting on a swing. The older, who's already thirteen, is pushing him on the swing. Oddly enough, the seven year old isn't smiling, and he doesn't look like he's having much fun but neither does the elder brother. They both look like they're just there to pass time and maybe they are.

"I heard Mother crying inside of their room this morning. She was arguing with father... about you." Sasuke tells him suddenly, out of nowhere. Itachi doesn't push the swing when it comes back again. Instead, he uses both hands to grab onto each of the chains holding the swing up. If someone normal had done it, the random stop would've been rough. But this was Itachi, the swing stopped immediately, almost as if by command.

"Mother is always quiet. She never objects to father but... She said she already knew what side you'd choose. She said it was all his fault, and that she hated him. He was trying to comfort her, and tell her she was wrong, but she wouldn't hear it. She just kept saying over and over again how much she hated him." Sasuke turned around to look at his older brother. Itachi's head is bowed, and his eyes are closed. He's grasping at the swing so tightly, his knuckles are turning white.

Finally, he lifts his head. He lets go of the swing, opening his eyes, revealing the Mangekyou. "You shouldn't eavesdrop, Sasuke. That was not for your ears to hear." Itachi tells him, his eyes swirling.

Sasuke is scared, but he berries his fear. He needs to say this; it needs to be addressed. This can't wait for another time. He won't let Itachi sweep it under the rug like he does everything else. "Who's side are you joining? Where are you going when you leave on your secret missions that you won't even tell mother and father about? What is it your doing?" Sasuke questions him. He's angry. He doesn't want their mother to cry, and he doesn't want Itachi to leave him to join some other side, whatever that side may be.

"Let's go. I think we've had enough of the park today." Itachi tells him, indirectly refusing to answer any of his questions. Itachi starts walking back to their home, not bothering to wait for a reply from Sasuke. Sasuke reluctantly follows him back, both angry, sad, and confused. He knows he's young, but he feels he should be entitled to at least a little bit of an explanation. He is in this family too, and if it's falling apart, he'd like to know.

Later that night, Itachi gears up for his mission. As per usual, his father gives him a speech about how he's counting on him. He tells him to remember that the clan is the most important thing, and that loyalty to the clan should always come first. Itachi listens, but it's clear he's not _listening_. Their mother runs off to her room, barely making it passed Sasuke before her tears start rolling down her cheeks. Their father runs after her, but she slams their room door behind her, locking it. Since he's outside in the hallway and she's inside the room, their father uses a sound barrier jutsu to hide whatever it is they're about to talk about. Something he would've done that morning, had he known the walls were so thin.

Itachi turns to leave out the door, only to find Sasuke standing in front of it, acting as a barricade. "I don't want you to leave anymore!" Sasuke yells. There are tears rolling down his cheeks as well, and he looks very much like his mother in that moment.

"I have to go, Sasuke." Itachi tells him, trying to get his little brother to move. When Sasuke doesn't move, Itachi tries to pull on his arm to get him to comply, but Sasuke refuses. Itachi knows he could easily remove his brother, but he doesn't want to hurt him. Itachi sighs. Slowly, he wraps his arms around his little brother, picking him up. "I have to go. I'm sorry you're hurting because of all of this." He tells the seven-year-old Uchiha. "This is the last time, I promise." Even as he says it, he knows it's a lie.

Sasuke nods nonetheless. He hugs his brother tightly, laying his head on his chest. When he does, Sasuke can hear Itachi's heart beat. He smiles, closing his eyes, as a feeling of belonging and warmth consume him. It feels like what home is supposed to feel like.

Sasuke reaches into his pocket and pulls out a locket. He opens it, and inside are two pictures of him and Itachi. "I got this for you." Sasuke tells him. "If you do leave and join whoever mother was talking about, you can remember me by this, okay? You have to promise you won't forget me."

Itachi takes it into his free hand. He slides it onto his neck. Then smiles down at Sasuke. "I promise on my life Sasuke. I will hold onto this until the day I die. I won't forget you, not now, not ever." Itachi tells him. Sasuke smiles sleepily.

Itachi smiles back. Then he goes to Sasuke's room to put, the now asleep, Sasuke in bed. "Forgive me, Sasuke. I hope one day, I can make it all up to you." He whispers as he tucks his younger brother into bed.

 **Review! And follow please, if more people review this, I'll continue it.**


End file.
